Before I Let You Down New York seems like a difficult place to get over a divorce You say you'll be miserable until the Hudson's run its course An internship at a publishing house pays twenty thousand dollars a year That might get you by in a flyover state but around here that won't even cover Half a roach-ridden walk-up in an ungentrified section of Brooklyn You'll find something better, you're looking, the lease is just month-to-month You'll ask your parents for money and they'll say, "Oh honey we know how hard it's been getting But we sort of spent it all on your wedding" Before I let you down and tell you it doesn't always get better Even after you weather the first bit, at least let me buy you some gin You might not find the love of your life on match or J-date or tinder But it feels good to feel like a sinner and winter is worst when you're in it And you can't ever get a beginning so if we go down, let's go swinging No, I'm not fucking kidding, like God we're our own worst critics When that guy who looks like Seth Rogen leaves your mattress smelling like war photographer's piss Remember you deserve better than this I've heard Berlin is cool as hell and you took German in high school Even though you don't know me all that well, you can always crash on the air bed In a handful of decades we'll both be dead, you said "that's not soon enough, is it?" You will finish your novel but you won't pitch it 'cause nobody gives a shit You'll stop sleeping with coworkers just like I stopped sleeping with pills When you're remarried with kids you will be embarrassed we talked like this When I see you next summer I better not find any new scars on your wrists Oh, you can get through this